Mom grumped this morning cuz I woke her up. She used to get up at 6:00 AM cuz she had kids. So, she should get up at six (5:30 would be better) cuz she's got a cat.
"I’ll bet you need to use the bathroom,” she said after I ate my breakfast. It was special canned food Mom had been hiding--a Christmas present from Aunt Pen and Snookie.
I did need to go outside. But the bathroom? The bathrooms are inside, and so are all my litter pans that need fresh litter, but the box is empty. Out in the flower bed, I was wondering why people say they gotta go to the bathroom. Well, not everyone says it. Kids are honest. I’ve heard them, “I gotta pee, I gotta pee, I gotta pee.”
When she hears a kid say that, Mom gets as uppity as my tabby friend, Snook the snob. “How puh-thet-ic,” she says, “that’s such poor breeding.” Which shows Mom doesn’t know as much as she thinks. When there’s no sense in doing nothing but saying hello to a gorgeous cat cuz the vet took your parts—That’s poor breeding. Come to think of it, it’s no breeding at all.
While out, I decided to chase birds before it got hot. I like pestering birds, but I didn’t chase birds to catch and eat them till I was all the time real hungry. And that was cuz Mom put Rx food in my dish. I’d rather eat dirt than the Rx food. At least dirt has a few tasty bugs in it. Rx food –it’s just yuk.
Ha, ha. Yesterday I left bird feathers on our welcome doormat, and then feathers from another bird on the sidewalk. Mom shrieked when she stepped out to the porch. “Dead birds.” She looked at Dad when she said it, like his head couldn’t figure that one. Then, just like Snook the snob, she goes on and on about how disgusting it is. Finally, she asked, “What gets into you, KittyCat?”
“A bird—same thing that’s in you when you eat fried chicken.” She didn’t understand what I said. She just thought I was purring.
After Dad put the bird remains in the dumpster (an excuse to ignore Mom’s string of words that all mean disgusting) Dad told her not to buy any more food from the vet. Maybe he’s taking my side cuz I don’t like it, but could be he didn’t like paying for the high-dollar yuk food.
Right now, Mom’s off to the store for fresh litter, good cat food, treats, and maybe people food, too. I have the computer all to myself. When Mom gets back, she can fill my dish, and then take a nap if she wants. If I like my new food, I won’t wake her up. But I’m talking about today—5:30 PM, a whole different thing than 5:30 AM of a brand new day tomorrow.
(c) 2012, Bernice W. Simpson