Monday, December 5, 2011

Christmas Shopping at Tuesday Morning -- by KittyCat

Ready to go shopping, Mom pointed to a purse-looking thing under her coat. "It's a doggie sling," she said to Dad. "I hope it works... Tex is about KittyCat's size."

I felt like a pit bull had attacked me, and was chewing inside my tummy. I was wishing I'd never scratched her. I was thinking about how bad it would be, being bullied the rest of my life by a dog that grew big and mean. I got in her lap, purred and rubbed against the doggie holder like it was mine. Maybe we could spend one more day together, just the two of us before Tex moved in and took my Mom and Dad away from me.

"KittyCat almost acts like he'd try it out for me," Mom said. "I'll put him in it, and see if he likes it."

"Sure," Dad said, "whatever you're brave enough to do."

"He's purring." Mom was all happy as she zipped the pouch closed, and unbuttoned a flap so a big head with floppy ears and long snout could poke through. "I think KittyCat could get through the top here, but he's not trying to. Can you believe it? He's still purring. I'll take him with me."

I popped my my head out--just my head, kinda showing Mom that Doggie Sling wasn't big enough for any but me.

Later, out in a store's parking lot, Mom showed someone the pooch's pouch, and I learned she got it for a friend, but wanted to make sure it worked before giving it away.

We went in Tuesday Morning--that's a store. When almost done for the day, and headed for the cash register, we stopped by a gift display. I got excited when I saw cards I liked with pictures of big cats called snow leopards.

Mom opened her coat more and whispered, "Getting to warm in there, KittyCat? Be still, we're almost finished."

I scooted up a bit, rubbed my head against her neck, and then looked at the cards I wanted. Pretending she didn't understand, she stroked my forehead with her thumb, but then pushed me down into the sling. I could've puked fur balls on her, but instead I reached up to give her face a loving pat.

She took my paw, gave it a little kiss, (Does she forget what I do with that paw in my cat box?) and put it back into the doggie pouch. "You promised to be a good kitty, remember?"

No, I didn't remember. What's more I didn't like that sweet tone in her voice that's really a put down. It says "you're just a cat, and humans rule," and it ticks me worse than an empty food dish. I jumped to the floor. Ignoring her whispery calls, I headed for a shelf that earlier I saw had tons of cat picture stuff--computer paper, cards, photo holders, and even cat calendars.

Mom followed.

Sure enough, once up on the shelf, I spied another snow leopard card packet, and pushed it forward, but Mom didn't put it in her cart. A woman stopped near us to look at pretty telephone pads in fancy boxes. I pushed the cards again. A bunch of stuff that was hiding me fell off the shelf. I ducked behind a box of scrapbook stuff.

"I saw a cat," said the woman, all nervous--like you would get if a big spider jumped on your nose.

Grabbing a cat calendar, Mom showed it to the lady. "How perfect for my friend--in fact, I'd like three if I can find them. These shelves are in such disarray, aren't they? I jiggled all over with laughter seeing Mom white hot at me, but acting so cool.

"I meant... I saw... no, uh... I'm...." Mrs. Flustered walked away mumbling at the floor.

"KittyCat!" Mom spoke real quiet, but her voice reminded me of an alley cat's growl. "You get over here. Now!"

When Mom's that ticked, I split. Blending right in with toy animals dumped in a huge bin, I watched Saturday afternoon shoppers trash the store. I wondered if they're nicer on Tuesday mornings? It was great fun, but comfy in a bear's lap, I got sleepy.

Yow! Someone pulled my tail. I stood, humped my back and hissed, showing all my teeth. Mom heard and rushed to the bin while some brat ran crying to his mother. I dropped to the safety of my sling under Mom's coat.

The customers and half the store workers rushed to the bin. All talking at once, they showed the screaming kid how a lamb makes a b-a-a sound, a pink fuzzy dog barks, and a toy frog can actually leap like it's real.

Mom, I guess happy she found me, gave me a gentle love squeeze. Then, as quietly as a cat padding across carpet, she paid for English cups and bowls you buy when you really like somebody, and left the store.

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