Welcome Home, Snook -- by KittyCat

          

Last week I was so happy to see my tabby friend, Snookie, but right off she started arguing with me. She accused me of throwing insults at her. “Snookie,” I tried to explain, “I didn't say you’d gotten fat over the summer.”

“You most certainly did.” She put on her all-uppity look.

I tried again. “I didn't even say the word fat. You’re the one who said it. What I said was...”

She jumped in, not letting me finish the sentence. “You may whisper one word while your body language screams another. I saw what you were thinking the moment Mother walked in the door with me and set me down on the floor.”

“I merely noticed you were a little rounder than usual, and said if you needed to pee or something, Mom cleaned the litter pan in the bathroom.”

“How crude,” she said in her Snook-the-Snob voice.

“What? Are we in the same conversation?”

"That word you used is crude,” she said.

“What word?” I asked.

“That three-letter word,” Snook replied real high-and-mighty like.

By now, she’d got me so flustered I felt itchy all over. Scratching my neck and thinking three-letter word, my question just popped out. You ... or fat?

With Snook right behind me, I flew past Mom and Aunt Pen, and found safety in a skinny spot between two plants Mom had brought inside for the winter. Snook hissed from the other side of a plant pot, threatening to bite my ear off if I moved from my little nook.

“What on earth has gotten into those two?” Mom had panic in her voice.

Aunt Pen isn't one to get rattled much. She looked at us like nothing special was happening. “It’s been five months,” she said. “I suppose they are getting reacquainted.” She took a sip of her Irish Cream and added, “And the exercise is good for Snook. She’s been idle and has gotten much too fat.”

(c) 2012, Bernice W. Simpson

What Do You Know? -- by KittyCat

Bet you didn’t know this: humans got holes in their heads. I’m not just talking spaces between ears that maybe is a joke (I tried to check Dad’s ear the other day, but he pushed me away). These are real big spaces. So if we cats have smaller heads, it’s not cuz we got teensy brains, it’s cuz we don’t got those big spaces in our heads.

The spaces are called sinusses. I found out about it by hearing Mom tell Dad stuff after she went to the doctor.

A bunch of what she said confused me, though, and my tabby friend, Snookie, is still on vacation, so she can’t tell me about things I don’t know. Like, one thing I don’t get is the doctor had pictures made of inside Mom’s head. Well, how do you take pictures of empty spaces? Boy, Dad could have fun with that one, if Mom felt good enough to at least give him that look. Anyhow Mom’s weren't empty, and the doctor said they were a cute (a cute what I'm wondering, since ... well, like I said Snookie isn't here to explain things).  

Being a cute is good, right? But it sounds like a human maybe likes cute on the outside, but not inside, cuz Mom’s taking pills to get rid of the cute stuff. 

She didn't do much this weekend. So I didn't do much, either. I spent most my time just being with Mom, cuz folks get better faster when they have someone special like me to keep them company. I’ll bet you already know that and have a nice cat or little dog in your family. But if you didn't know it, well, you do now, and there’s a special friend waiting at the animal shelter to get adopted by someone real nice like you.