Love Does Funny Stuff -- by KittyCat

"KittyCat! Leave that alone!" Mom thinking I was gonna mess with a new black thing called a router, was almost screaming at me.

I didn't touch it. I was so ticked at it, I didn't even give it a "hello" sniff. It's that router-thing's fault that I didn't get to write for a long time. But what if I had scratched its little green lights? What's the big deal? I heard Mom tell Dad the telephone company was sending another one cuz this one had defected.

I get blamed for more stuff around here. But it's not all bad. Lots of times Mom thinks she's hurt my feelings, so she tells me I'm a handsome tuxedo cat, and then gives me treats. Sometimes she gets real gooey. Like Friday after she yelled at me, she picked me up and asked, "know why God made you so soft and furry?"

I can't answer. Couldn't even if I talked human, cuz she's squeezing all the air out of me.

"It's so I'd have a sweet kitty to hug," she says, stroking just above my nose, "and I love you so much, my beautiful kitty."

Mom calls people beautiful, too, but thinks people's good looks don't count very much. What's beautiful inside is what's important.

She'd never yell at me again, and she'd quit the "cuddly kitty" bit if she saw me from the inside. The mighty jungle cats on last year's office calendar--that's more like the real me. When I stretch out on a branch of our pecan tree, I feel like the black leopard-cat in one of those pictures. I bet jungle people don't go around stepping on his tail. "oh, sorry, I just didn't notice you sitting there." And, ha, ha... you think anyone ever grabs a paw to clip his toenails?

H-m-m, but then again.... I wonder if he'd purr and feel a bit like a fuzzy kitten if he had a mom to feed him and stroke his forehead just above his nose. Love does funny stuff to a guy. I hiss and act fierce when Mom combs my hair, but.... Oops, I almost got gooey.

I saw heart-shaped cards in a basket on the office shelf. I think I'll send Mom a Valentine card. It'll make her all warm and happy.

Thinking more about it though, I get conflicted. Maybe I gotta take time to cogitate (got that big word from my friend, Deut.). Trouble is, I can do without those suffocating hugs...

...so I just won't sign it.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

(c) 2012, Bernice W. Simpson