Mom grumped this morning cuz I woke her up. She used to get up at 6:00 AM cuz she had kids. So, she should get up at six (5:30 would be better) cuz she's got a cat.
"I’ll bet you need to
use the bathroom,” she said after I ate my breakfast. It was special canned
food Mom had been hiding--a Christmas present from Aunt Pen and Snookie.
I did need to go
outside. But the bathroom? The bathrooms are inside, and so are all my litter
pans that need fresh litter, but the box is empty. Out in the flower bed, I was
wondering why people say they gotta go to the bathroom. Well, not everyone says
it. Kids are honest. I’ve heard them, “I gotta pee, I gotta pee, I gotta pee.”
When she hears a kid
say that, Mom gets as uppity as my tabby friend, Snook the snob. “How puh-thet-ic,” she says, “that’s
such poor breeding.” Which shows Mom doesn’t know as much as she thinks. When
there’s no sense in doing nothing but saying hello to a gorgeous cat cuz the
vet took your parts—That’s poor
breeding. Come to think of it, it’s no breeding at all.
While out, I decided
to chase birds before it got hot. I like pestering birds, but I didn’t chase
birds to catch and eat them till I was all the time real hungry. And that was
cuz Mom put Rx food in my dish. I’d rather eat dirt than the Rx food. At least
dirt has a few tasty bugs in it. Rx food –it’s just yuk.
Ha, ha. Yesterday I
left bird feathers on our welcome doormat, and then feathers from another bird
on the sidewalk. Mom shrieked when she stepped out to the porch. “Dead birds.”
She looked at Dad when she said it, like his head couldn’t figure that one.
Then, just like Snook the snob, she goes on and on about how disgusting it is.
Finally, she asked, “What gets into you, KittyCat?”
“A bird—same thing
that’s in you when you eat fried chicken.” She didn’t understand what I said. She just
thought I was purring.
After Dad put the
bird remains in the dumpster (an excuse to ignore Mom’s string of words that
all mean disgusting) Dad told her not
to buy any more food from the vet. Maybe he’s taking my side cuz I don’t like
it, but could be he didn’t like paying for the high-dollar yuk food.
Right now, Mom’s off
to the store for fresh litter, good cat food, treats, and maybe people food,
too. I have the computer all to myself. When Mom gets back, she can fill my
dish, and then take a nap if she wants. If I like my new food, I won’t wake her
up. But I’m talking about today—5:30 PM, a whole different thing than 5:30 AM
of a brand new day tomorrow.
(c) 2012, Bernice W. Simpson
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