Monday, August 6, 2012

Bad News and New Rules -- by KittyCat

Mom forgot something when she said folks should read the newspaper. I have another reason—well at least if you read our newspaper: restaurant reports.
Mom and Dad used to own a tiny b-b-q place. They say you get your real business license from the public. How so? It’s like this—treat your customers like family (and you’ll knock yourself out to give your family the very best, right?) and they’ll come to your table.
What if health workers who think up rules, make forms, and have other workers go around and fill them out thought that way? There’d be less folks working for the government. Ha, ha. Get axed from that cushy deal, and a body could end up working in food service. –In the kitchen. Cuz bossy people would make lousy waiters who wouldn’t get good tips. 
“Watch out for all those germs,” Mom said. She’d been reading restaurant reports to Dad. “Like the ones that escape when a food handler puts on rubber gloves.”
Ha, ha. Get this: food service people are supposed to wash hands before putting on rubber gloves. I didn’t hear anything about maybe dipping the gloves in germ-away water after they’re on. Sounds like it doesn’t matter if the gloves are dirty—just so long as hands inside them are clean.
I guess if you’re in a hurry, you don’t get marked up if your hands aren’t dry when you put them inside those gloves. It’s not like wearing sweaty socks, is it? Guess there’s no such thing as itchy bumps between your fingers that you can pass on to others. I’ll have to ask my smart tabby friend, Snookie, but I’ve never heard of athlete’s hands.
Another thing you gotta watch for is what’s called “sanitation solutions”—they gotta be just right. And I know a bit about that. Mom uses bleach when she cleans the kitchen. She says it’s a teaspoon of bleach to a gallon of water. But I’ve never seen her measure it. Uh oh, come to think of it, I don’t think she washes her hands before she puts on those yellow gloves.
Some places get bad marks cuz they aren’t sanitary at all, but others are too sanitary. That means when somebody wipes off your table, and it gets too clean, that’s bad news.
Well, that makes sense, cuz I heard a guy on TV say kids get sick easier these days cuz their moms don’t let them get around enough germs. And no fooling, hair can fall out if washed too much. Ha, ha—I’ll never have that problem. Don’t believe it? Just come and try to shampoo my hair.
Another no-no is dinted cans. I like that one, cuz Mom can buy dinted cans at a cheap food place, and use the money she saves to buy treats for me.
I’m glad I’m just a cat. All those rules—how does a person keep up? And I hear all kinds of rules are  made all the time, and more of all kinds of police, including food police, get hired to make sure nobody gets away with anything someone else thinks is not so good.
But ya know what? I heard while alley cats got by just fine, a bunch of nice family dogs and cats got real sick and died a few years back. So I don’t get it. It’s against rules to have a dinted can of American-grown green beans in your cafĂ©, but rat poison in cat food is just fine. –That is, so long as it comes here from another country. 

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