The following is part of the handouts for my presentation, Critique Acumen: a Heads-up for Considerate Critics.
Tips from Dynamic
Opinions, a Critique Group
Keep Your Writing Flow
Imagine these scenarios:
× Abuzz with creativity, you relish a rare writing experience—everything works. Your dilemma: too many metaphors are like too many
cooks in the kitchen. But you’re feeling euphoric, and you cannot decide what
to keep and what to cut.
× You’re not positive about a word you thought you
knew, but you’re on a roll, and don’t want to stop to look it up in a
dictionary. If the word is not used correctly you’ve thought of a substitute
phrase—a phrase you’re apt to forget if you don’t write it down immediately.
What do you do? Postpone making a decision.
Preserve your alternative phrases inside a pair of brackets,
[ ] and keep on writing. For example, [Elaine’s and Jim’s house // Elaine and
Jim’s house]. Later search through the document for a bracket. When the cursor
stops at the bracket, you’ll remember to check a grammar guide, and keep only
the correct “Elaine and Jim’s house.”
If you remain indecisive, you can leave the brackets in
place to solicit your critique group’s opinions. On the critique copy, flag the
bracket areas by putting them in bold. Members of Dynamic Opinions know,
without extra explanation, that [... //
...] requests a reader’s vote. Readers circle or underline their
preference. Sometimes members cross through all choices, offering their own
ideas.
An example of writing
that uses brackets
to postpone decisions and invite opinions on word choices
Brenda caught movement in her peripheral vision—black, [it skittered across the wooden chair seat
at cockroach speed to disappear over the edge. // at cockroach speed it flashed
across the wooden chair seat and disappeared.] In response to the horror,
Brenda’s heart drummed against her ribs; her stomach convulsed with spewed acid
and foaming gas. She scanned the carpet while she grabbed the lightweight chair
and [flipped it to its side. She // flipping it to its side, she] jerked
the shoe from her right foot.
She eyed a creature centered on the chair’s underside,
huddled motionless as if resigned to a fateful, deadly blow. Brenda slipped her
loafer back on. She dumped pencils from a nearby jelly jar, eased the spider
into it, and moved toward the patio door. Exquisite, she thought, studying [it // its articulated body] as she
stepped outside. Releasing her captive to a planter of zinnias, Brenda’s
fascination grew. In the outdoor sunlight the spider’s black body shimmered
iridescent with [color // jewel tones //
jewel toned color] --purple, cyan, and cobalt. She watched as the spider
landed, turned toward her and crawled up a leaf as if to face and thank her.
Brenda started in amazement. [Emerald
green eyes! // Its eyes were like emeralds, glorious green emeralds!]
Briefly those living gems locked onto Brenda’s eyes and
pierced an inner consciousness. Her decision to call the exterminator [suddenly moved // careened] from her
mind’s area of lucid logic to murky rumination: does the damage from spraying
for household pests outweigh its benefits? She simply did not know.
(c) 2012, Bernice W. Simpson
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