Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Ten Catbite Turnarounds -- by KittyCat

I’ll say it straight out. I'm guilty. I bit Mom. I won’t do like Snookie and go on and on with boring details.  
But you know what? Mom says good stuff can come from bad. Sure enough, I came up with seventeen good things, but Mom tells writers they gotta use snappy numbers. Blah, numbers. So who got good stuff out of teeny toothmarks? (You can count if you want to.)
Mom. Right! She’s at the top of the list. I’ve watched baseball with Dad. Mom pitched a triple play and didn’t even know it. See, like most folks we know, Mom only goes to the doctor for regular appointments or when she feels like “death warmed over.” She’s had sinus all winter—felt yukky, had headaches, and even fever. One day she said she was running out of snake oil, and might need to see the doctor, but then she didn’t. The pills are getting rid of her bite germs and sinus stuff, too. On top of that, the lab took her blood while she was there, so she doesn’t have to go back for her “vampire appointment.”
 It could save her time in the future. See, if a baby kitten comes by, she’ll call everybody she knows, and write letters, and make special visits trying to find that baby a home. Well, the doctor announced his thoughts about cats. –One less call for Mom to make if and when.
 Mom got lots of practice using her left hand, and that’s good, cuz if she ever breaks her arm and has to use her left hand to eat, she won’t stick the fork in her nose instead of her mouth.
Mom skipped church on Sunday cuz the germ pills almost give her the pukes. (That’s not her word for it, but Snookie isn’t here to spell stuff for me.) Anyhow Mom had a fun day. Using the computer and mouse, she went to Victoria Beach in Manitoba. Then she phoned Michelle, one of my human cousins, to find stuff there, and even got to see Michelle’s house—well, the roof. I guess that was cool, cuz Mom didn’t get to see the roof when she went to Michelle’s a couple of years ago.
Moneywise Dad won big this weekend. He and Mom went shopping together. Usually he’ll buy more expensive things than she’ll buy herself. This time, though, nearly everything Mom looked at was made in China, and she wouldn’t have any of it.
Maybe it’s not a big huge win for the country, but when enough people like Mom write and tell companies what they think, things get turned around.
Since Mom had trouble typing, she didn't try to work, so I got lots of attention all weekend. And I’ll have all the girls purring up to me in a couple of months. Mom planted a big pot of catnip. When I go to Lubbock to see L’il Bit...well, to put it in human terms, think of a gal who sees everything she could want in a man, and he comes bringing roses.
There’s more good from the bad stuff, but Mom says “close with a zinger.” What’s better than catnip?

(c) 2012, Bernice W. Simpson

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